15 Week Bump!

Yay!!! And belly has arrived!

Pilates... Best. thing. ever! (I bought 10 Minute Solution Prenatal Pilates and am alternating it with Erin O'Brien.) Helping my mental health loads! And apparently exercise in pregnancy makes baby smarter, labour (a little!) easier, and me less likely to get gestational diabetes... Which I am high risk for as Dad is type 1 and I have PCOS. So no downsides to exercise! Plus it's helping my back which has been a little sore... 

Generally loving life! 

(Can there be more exclamation marks in this post?!)

P.S. Telling my Grandad was AWESOME!

13 Week Bump Photos

Here I am at 13 weeks! And feeling very happy as we had our 12 week scan two days before!!

Hubby keeps commenting on how I am getting a proper bump this week! I'm sure I'll look back at this in a couple of months and think, "You had no idea!", but it is so exciting!

Had a bit of backache and stretching feelings (almost like a mini stitch) to the front this week. It's been snowing quite a bit today so I've had to be more careful on my feet than usual (not wanting to damage my precious cargo!) and hubby picked me up from work so I didn't have to walk home which was really nice.

We are going to see my Grandad and his wife tomorrow to tell him about the pregnancy. I inherit the translocation from him and he worries about it a lot, so I am really looking forward to telling him!

I've also been working out today, I bought a pregnancy workout DVD. Hoping to get in better shape for labour! I'm already feeling stiff! The DVD I went for was 'Complete Pregnancy Fitness with Erin O'Brien'. I went for it because it had really good reviews and also because the reviews said it was a tougher workout than some of the other pregnancy DVDs. I really enjoyed the workout and it definitely worked me hard so I would recommend it!

I've been looking for a doula since the 8 week scan. A doula is a professional labour companion and it was something I knew I wanted before falling pregnant. There are a good number of doulas around here. With my due date being July 26 and with many doulas having small children I found a lot are on holiday at the time I need. Luckily I managed to find three to meet up with and I've met with all of them over this past week. One of them just 'felt' right, and we were really impressed with how professional her business in, as well as by her confident air and trust in the birth process, so we have gone with her... It ended up being a pretty easy decision to make, and as booking a doula is something I have dreamed of for so long, it makes the whole pregnancy so much more real and exciting!

I also found out yesterday that one of my bestest friends is expecting a baby the day before me! Such wonderful news! We met at university; she was the first Christian my age I knew, and she's also suffered with mental health problems, so it's a really special friendship to me... She now lives in New Zealand with her Kiwi husband so I am over-the-moon to be expecting together; it makes us feel closer together. Lovely!

11 Week Bump Photo

So here I am at 11 weeks (again excuse the bra and pregnancy skin!).

Bump feels LOADS bigger this week and I can't stop stroking my belly! It's so exciting!

I have been really sick with a nasty cold which turned into sinusitis this week and feeling terrible, I do not enjoy this as I do the pregnancy symptoms even though they feel pretty similar! The GP prescribed Amoxycillin for a week (antibiotics which are safe in pregnancy) for the sinus infection. I've never had a cold last so long - usually shake them off in a couple of days, while this one hung around 6 days before even mutating into the sinuses; I've now been sick a week and a half. Apparently the immune system is reduced in pregnant women to stop our bodies rejecting the foetuses as alien objects, so I don't really mind being sick! It's amazing how our bodies work to support pregnancy; God is really the grand supreme master architect and I have been so amazed at Him in entirely new years by pregnancy.

I'm still really enjoying pregnancy; more and more every week actually! The 8 week scan did wonders!!! I do worry about every bump and twinge in my body but I think that's pretty normal for a pregnant woman... :D

9 Week Bump Photo

Excuse my terrible pregnancy skin! And pointy boobs - thanks M&S maternity bras! I bought these because my breasticles have increased 2 cup sizes and my old bras are painful and this was all M&S had in stock in a 2-pack non-wire in my size... They are super comfy and well supported BUT I do not recommend, they are cut impractically high,the seams really show through clothing, and they don't make a flattering shape.

This is the Bull bump at 9 weeks!

Week 9-10 was my most uncomfortable week yet nausea wise, which was unfortunate as it coincided with Christmas! All-in-all - I probably sound completely mad - I LOVE the early pregnancy symptoms, I've felt rubbish throughout and have relished every single symptom! (Ok, apart from the spots!)

And... I HAVE enjoyed pregnancy SO MUCH more since the scan! I finally feel pregnant! Wahoo!!!

Our Magic Little Bean at 8 Weeks

Today we had our 8 week scan. It was an internal scan and performed at the IVF clinic. I was very worried about this scan as a PGD friend, who also has a balanced translocation, had a MMC (missed miscarriage) at her 8 week scan around the time we had our positive pregnancy test. It was her fourth MC but her first PGD cycle and she had never seen a live baby at a scan. I was sick with nerves from for the month prior to the scan that the same thing would happen to us, and I didn't enjoy that time at all (that's why I didn't blog!). I completely dreaded the scan but at the same time counted down the days!!!

Having the scan was amazing. I couldn't look at the screen because I was so nervous. And then the nurse said, "There's your baby," in the softest, gentlest voice - she knew how nervous I was - and we could see the little heart beating and it was totally amazing! I had to choke back tears, it was so emotional, and afterwards we went to Sainsbury's to pick up a few bits and I was still being completely overcome by these waves of tearful relief.

I felt that God had been telling me that if the scan went well, I would be able to relax, trust Him, and enjoy being pregnant... I trust Him, so, we shall see! I do hope the next weeks are going to be much more enjoyable! I feel terrible being in a position to enjoy the blessing I've hoped for for so long and yet being unable to; I feel very broken by all this infertility and heartache.

I've also been thinking back a lot to the MC I had almost five years ago (before I met my husband, and while I was with my previous long-term boyfriend), and have been so taken aback by how much grieving I had still to do for that. I've never really allowed myself to grieve it (except for at the immediate time when I was devastated). I didn't 'want' to be pregnant, it was an accident, and I didn't acknowledge that I was pregnant until I miscarried - I hadn't even taken a test. And I knew WHY I miscarried, carrying a balanced translocation really brings a bonus in that way, so I haven't even had to wonder if I did something to cause it. A few months later I broke up with my boyfriend and met my husband, and I was glad not to have a child tying me to my ex. I then had a breakdown and tackled my mental health and I realised how very incapable I would have been as a parent. But seeing the miscarriage phlegmatically and rationally like that has stopped me from seeing the sadness of it all, and understanding how let down I feel by my body.

So there's a lot of stuff to work through, but I'm very, VERY happy!!!