Intimacy

So, we started our injections yesterday; we've done two injections now. I was a bit anxious before it all started - I didn't sleep much the night before the injections, and had a bit of a panicky moment in the day. But it (the anxiety) was all over really quickly and I felt much better after we'd done the first one, and have been fine since.

I thought I might write tonight about intimacy. Intimacy ties in with dependence, which I wrote about on Sunday, and I've been learning a lot about both through this whole IVF process (and my life is loads better for it! Thanks God!). When we are intimate with God, we are dependent, and in order to be dependent, we have to have intimacy.

I love having a close relationship with God. Sometimes it's not there though, and that's just part of the mystery of faith! Earlier this year I was finding it very difficult to seek His presence... Not feeling His presence was so hard, but what He taught me out of it was invaluable. He showed me how important it is that He is first in our hearts, and how much this impacts our personal, intimate relationships with Him (I had university before Him in my heart). Ezekiel 14:7-8 says:

When any of the Israelites or any foreigner residing in Israel separate themselves from me and set up idols in their hearts and put a wicked stumbling block before their faces and then go to a prophet to inquire of me, I theLord will answer them myself. I will set my face against them and make them an example and a byword. I will remove them from my people. Then you will know that I am the Lord.

I listened to an online talk on Prophecy by our church leader the other night (listen to it here - dated 19th September 2010). He made the point that relationships flourish with time invested, and wither when neglected - and that our relationship with God is the same. The more time we spend with Him, the better we know Him.

We can all know the Lord personally and intimately. This has been such a revelation lately - it's something I hear in church all the time, and thought I understood... But now am seeing in whole new ways! Hebrews 8:10-11 says:

This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel
    after that time, declares the Lord.
I will put my laws in their minds
    and write them on their hearts.
I will be their God,
    and they will be my people.  

 No longer will they teach their neighbor,
    or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’
because they will all know me,
    from the least of them to the greatest.

We need no intercessors to come before Him. We can speak to Him, and He will listen. He can speak to us - directly - and we can listen. And by far the best way of getting to know someone is to spend time one-on-one with them. During quiet time spent seeking the Lord we are transformed like no other time; He has our full attention during these times. I find it helps to study the Bible before spending quiet time in prayer as it 'readies' my mind.

Recently, I have been focusing on building time devoted to listening to the Lord. I am a total novice at this, but I have found it helpful to create a restful mood by turning the lights off, shutting the curtains, lighting candles, and playing a worship CD really low. I also like to have a notebook and Bible handy, so I can look up any verses and write down things God says. But ultimately all that is necessary is a quiet space. The more time available the better, but I go on the basis that a short amount of time is better than nothing! Doing this has transformed the IVF experience for me... It has also really helped bring fresh hope into my life; hope that isn't dependent on any particular outcome but is in the Lord.