My smear result came through normal today so we are officially good to go...
It's CD22 and day 4 on Norethisterone. Side effects so far are period cramps (lower back), smelly wee, and hot flushes. I haven't read the side effects leaflet because I freak myself out with them, and I tend to get all the side effects listed, which I figured might be psychologically induced. Hoping the period pain will die down a bit because it's pretty bad this evening and I don't fancy 6 more days of it.
Job Update
Ta-da! I have been offered a job! God is so good and amazing!!!! I so need this encouragement at the moment, and He is so good to bless me in this way! He is reminding me of His goodness with every. single. little. thing. at the moment, and I am blown away by His attention to detail and general care and love for me. It all makes me feel so safe and fearless!
The circumstances of getting the job were really obviously God as well, because there were a lot of similarities to when I last interviewed for jobs (and got my last job) - five years ago this month (five = period of grace).
I had a feeling I would get the job I did because it was the second job I interviewed for (five years ago I got the second job); I wasn't even sure whether to apply for it because instinctively - before going there - I didn't want to work there (same as with the job I got five years ago), and then when I did visit the place at interview, I loved it and really wanted to work there (same as five years ago). I had a lovely time at the first interview; the people were lovely and really put me at ease, and the place had a nice atmosphere; but I had a really strong feeling that I wouldn't get the job; something didn't feel right. It was a few too many hours; it was difficult to get to; I would have had to work Sundays, at least for a bit; and it wasn't in the area I really wanted to be in. And after the second interview I thought 'this is the job for me'. I felt a bit mad thinking all of this - why would I hear God so clearly on it? - but then it all worked out exactly as I thought He was saying, so I am beyond encouraged and grateful to Him. After I had the call to say I'd got it, my husband said he'd had a dream the night before that I got it, which really encourages us about the dream he had last weekend! The job itself seems to fit all my needs really well, and I am really excited to start!!! God is SO good! (Did I mention He is good?! Lol!)
Also I'm really encouraged because the feedback from both interviews was really good. Five years ago, the feedback I got was about how obviously nervous I was; this time I didn't feel particularly nervous at all, in either interview! It was totally blessed! I struggle so badly with nerves a lot of the time, and yet I enjoyed myself (is that crazy to say?!) in both interviews. Bonkers. Even the job I didn't get fed back so well; the lady said I was 'lovely' three times, how well they thought I'd get on with the team, how well I scored on some of the questions, how high the standard was, and how they'd encourage me to apply again. I came off the phone on a complete high, despite just having had a rejection!! She said the areas I scored low on were areas I didn't have experience of (up-selling, locking-up), and that the girl who got the job had experience in those areas. It was just such lovely feedback, I was so touched she took the effort to be so encouraging, and it has made that interview such a lovely memory to look back on.
Anyway, really rambling on a lot now, but I am just so blown away by all God has done in the past five years. He has done so much in my life and He blesses me so abundantly. The same verse I wrote about a few months ago comes to mind (Ephesians 3:20):
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within usImmeasurably more than we can ever ask or imagine! Honestly, why on earth do I ever doubt He can provide me with all I need? He is so surprising and so exciting.
So I have been feeling for a while like the Lord might be asking me to deactivate my Facebook account for a bit; this week He has blatantly confirmed that. We have my dad, stepmum, and little brother staying tonight until Sunday, and then my mum staying Sunday night, so I probably won't get around to it until Monday (having had my account over 5 years I don't really feel right rushing it; I want to say goodbye - even if it's just for a bit!).
Facebook hasn't been doing me any good for a while; earlier this year when I was getting really down about being infertile, I spent a lot of time obsessing over which of my FB friends have kids yet and how old people were when they had their kids. Recently this has turned into fearing I am going to see a pregnancy announcement every time I go on. From other peoples' experiences with infertility, I know this is totally normal, but I don't want to be an obsessive and jealous person and I really need a break.
Also, more recently, I have found that my Facebook support groups (IVF PGD support group, IVF support group, general balanced translocation support group) are causing me a lot of anxiety, as I worry about all the things that can go wrong from seeing other peoples' experiences, and it is totally distracting me from having faith and trust in God. I miss the 11,22 support group (that one is very different in nature and not anxiety inducing) but it will still be there in the future!
I use the Fertility Friends forum a bit; I find it a lot easier not to get over involved with that one. I think because it is so large and has so many threads, it is easy to find one's own niche: I only follow the one thread, and that doesn't see much action, so it is very unintrusive. I have met some ladies through Fertility Friends who have been a real blessing. Last month I met up with a girl from there in person: but that is a story for another day as I am tired, and that was an exciting God thing so I want to do it justice.
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